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sarah B

[ website | my deadjournal ]
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like ricky always said you've got to toke and pass [31 Dec 2037|03:55pm]
[ mood | listless ]

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hear the sound of the faces in the clouds... [31 Dec 2037|12:21am]
[ mood | dirty ]

MENTAL HEALTH is a question. i'm going to have a shower, clean myself up. i want to tell you about my drunk sexual experiences though! oh jesse *sigh*. hehehe good mother effin times...SLUT! oh acohol and cute boys:) i love the mix! past days though haven't been much excitment wise, this break has been going pretty slow. school...hmm. well shcool = high all the time. so i mean, it's not all that bad! though the teachers nagging and the work that MUST be done is such a buzzkill. haha. i'm horriable! but yeah some school wouldn't be so bad right about now. i think i'm going insane with the lack of drugs and the lack of melissa potter and the lack of things to do. cals a cutie though, i'm talking to him right now. i think i'd like to marry him. TY hasn't been online much since the little...er...bus shack 'thing'. WE WERE DRUNK TEENAGERS OF THE OPPISITE SEX! what else were we to do? ohh boy, shitty that our friendship will never be the same. but fuck him i used him hardcore. it's the thing i do, use men. i do it all the time and i like it. i play the game of 'i really like you...wanna blaze me?' haha. ALL THE TIME! and then i hate the guys and never put out...but end up with a nice high. i must have gotten a million dollars wroth of drugs off lonely boys. haha maybe not that much....new years eve is like, tomorrow?! shit! son! what to do what to do. jill doesn't have to babysit! aaawesome! so theres a party right there. hehe. MELISSA is away, has been since chirstmas eve. she'll be back on friday, witch is the longest i've been away from her since summer and she's NOT making a habit of calling or e-mailing me. F-ER! i want to hear from that nigger. but she's busy...with her friends...mother fucker. but whatever, she has sent one beautiful e-mail so i am thankful of that :) talking to mark on the phone now...HE'S COMING SATURDAY!! this means...SEX SEX SEX! i can't wait! hehehe this will be so much fun that mother fucking hottie is coming for me! for my vigina! HURYAY! hahaha..this enterie is bunk but i have nothin going on really. i dont really want to talk about my day cuz well..ehh it's fucked. watched half baked, pro movie as always. saw nigga jill + nigga beth. 2 hotties. EVEN THOUGH BETH IS A ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! fucker you know it. anyways, i'm gonna bounce on ova to my shower and do a little washing so peace out everyone!
-sarah

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[29 Dec 2037|01:18am]
[ mood | awake ]

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I HAVE NOT SOLD MYSELF TO GOD [25 Dec 2037|10:28pm]
[ mood | restless ]

wud up. coming online to see if any fly skimmy be chillin on msn. got my nigger beth! that's rad. my chirstmas is over and thank god. got a bunch of over priced shit that'll ill never use. lots of money wasted. but whatever. it's over and done and it's all good so whatever. tomorrow will be a party cuz i need some drugs in me. chillin at mel dawgs empty cribe.
gonna spend all my chirstmas cash i got this year (40 bones) on bud and boose. BECAUSE: i've been saving up my money all month and i've been grounded all month and i haven't gotten high since tuesday and haven't gotten drunk since yesterday lol so fuck! i need it. but i did buy a lovely pack of smokes 2 days ago and i'm so happy of it. gonna smoke those bitches down. but merry chirst day. i hope y'all had a good one. got some good shit. i dont' know, i got a case for my guitar and i think that's as rad as it gets. pretty happy:)

peace.

love.

empathy.

i do love you guys, whether or not you love me back! i wish you all the best have a good night, sweet dreams.
-sarah

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deffinition of pipe dreams: [24 Dec 2037|03:40pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

i dont ever want to get a job. i want to live in a meadow somewhere warm never wear clothes and eat flowers and berries and swim in streams and raise love childern and have a little communtie of people i love and eat mushrooms all the time and just trip out. thats the way it was ment to be. fuck this city bullshit i'm moving out. i want to live like a natural human being!!! but untill i can i'm just gonna stay blazed and do what i have to do and just chill. i might stop eating meat in the new year and get dred locks. what chu think about that niggers!? i'm gonna start wearing only hemp and not bathe that often. i think that'd be fucking rad! i think i might drop out of highschool too and buy a bus. yeahh....word to that.

peace out gangsters.
-sarah

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...and on to the floor [23 Dec 2037|09:34pm]
[ mood | sick ]

oh the dissapointment. the giving of trust and then the reckage. my mother...."i give up on you. i dont care anymore. do whatever you want, fuck yourself over as much as you want. this is day in day out and i dont take responiablity anymore. im not going to stress over you because you'll hopeless anyways....."

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four and there and two and one. and when i'm on the mic the suckers run. [22 Dec 2037|09:58pm]
[ mood | impressed ]



beastie boys, run dmc and cat power. haha, the only shit i've been listening to alll effin night. that's hardcore. i stayed home today for my sister, it was her birthday. uh i didnt dress, didnt put on make-up. but i did take that picture today. i like it, i don't know why. hm. tomorrow is melissa last day in town and we're gonna get drunk and high and have a going away bash. tiltin the OE's back tomorrow, i'm going to be so sick. im not gonna eat much tomorrow so i'll get drunk faster cuz i dont have a lot of money. hm. well. thats tomorrow...then chirstmas eve i don't know what i be doing. well see.

can't wait till chirstmas is over. then the real party starts! hahaha. peace!
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i was a hippy i was a burnout i was a dropout i was out of my head [21 Dec 2037|09:56pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

hm i'm really burnout and i need some sleep. this break was suposse to be clean and i was just suposse to chill out and give myself a rest. i'm getting really sick, i have a bad cough and my skin looks gray and theres darkness around my eyes. i think i'm losing weight too. i'm a regular health freak ova herrre. i actually went to a soccor game, pretty fucked. me and melissa were watching beth play and it was kinda tripped actually. we were thinking about life and our controled societys and how everyone is so, you know, stupid. lol. yeah just cnyical and sad and stuff. i don't know, we depress ourselfs to much. hmm well anyways i'm sure we taught ourselfs somthing and thats' good. hmmm i saw a bunch of people today. TY i saw today. he was nice and he met b-unit + m-dawg. he blazed us too and then we made him leave. we use men, often. i hate ourselfs but fuck him. anyways i don't know, the day was really busy. the second i got home from melissas beth came over and then we left to go to this girls house and i saw some old shcool homies. all good, then sev, smoked some cigarettes, then back to my empty home. rad rad. err...then out again i suposse the 4 of us. yeah. anyways, good times. peace to south north east and west.

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WE ARE 138 [21 Dec 2037|11:00am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

an interesting saturday night;

last night was memories. melissa got her film back. now thats messed, that's really strange to see yourself in events of the past. really fucked up. half of the pictures we have no memorie of, or what we were doing or were or when or anything like that. theres this one picture of me in the doorway of beths bathroom looking just so fucking trash, holding a beer, with something all over the front of me, fucking vomit? beer? i don't even know what. but i looked so high and drunk and i have no idea what that night was. lol, none of us do.

and then theres pictures of us at the river, in the summer, with cigarettes and healthy smiles. oh it's so nice to see them, i want to show you guys so badly cuz this is my life. lol, right there. i love the summer guys, i was so happy. i am so happy but i forgot how happy and thank-ful for everything i was. i was so thankful for melissa and beth and all my friends and just thankful for the good times we all had. ohhh baby such good times.

but winter man, it's kinda a bummer. it's nice outside though today so i'm gonna go be outside so a while. a friend is in town so me and beth and going to go see her and i'm really excited for this. i'm excited for the walk over too. haha, i'm in a good mood fuckers, even though i'm hellishly hung over....gahhh haha.

but it's all good. last night i was thinking, 'if theres any a time in your life when you don't think every single thing is uterly and completely good then your CUT, cuz everything is good. in fact, it's ALL good.'

oh but i should tell you about last night, i guess, if your up to this crazy party of a night. :)

ALRIGHT heres the DL: last night me and melissa ryan bell and kevin (form churchill you might remeber them, kinda skaters pothead guys) we wanted to go to a punk rock show so badly. but, we didn't know of any going on so we just went around to some venues around town looking for one. well, we got dropped off at the west end when there wasn't a show going on. our ride left, so we there. haha, it was good, of course. so without anything to do and money form the tickets to the 'show' we went down to the beer vender. haha, cool cool. we header on down to that and have nice conversation with drunks. we got this really cool black guy to buy us 9 king cans. class, 100%. so we put them all in our jackets and that was all rad.

we went into a apartment building to chill on some couches and waited for a ride from kevins grandparents, and that's radcore. that was fucking awesome. he likes, drives this bus for handy cap people and that's so ill. lol, so we got a ride to safeway. lol, my storys not that interesting yet. FUCK i'm failing....but just wait....do normal people just laugh a lot when there telling a story, haha i'm laughing a lot. i'm amusing myself. this is good, i like this. haha.

anyways we get to safeway call some people up to see if we can chill wit 'em. we call tarus and we're like 'yo, let us chill' so we went over to his house and thats awesome. it's a really nice house if you've ever been. so anyways, we drink in there and talk a bit with tarus, kyle and mike. really cool guys, just popular and fucking so hot. tarus fuck, women, you HAVE to think he's the hottest thing ever. ok let me tell you about this one............he had no shirt on, this cigarette hanging out of his mouth, these ghetto 70s glasses, longish hair....oh fucker. i just want to look at him all night. he's a asshole though haha. so fuck him!

err but continueing....they have this bet or whatever between kevin and tarus, that who ever losing like this fucking game has to go to sev with only there boxers on and buy somthing. so that's kinda lame but cool so kevin loses and has to do it. he's fucking drunk piss, and he comes around the connor, this skinny white fucker with his boxers on and his skate shoes and goes into sev. while the rest of us and just fucking laughing and some guys is actually vedio taping it. hahaha, anyways kevin is just smiling there and i give him props. that was rad, and funny. lol.

hmm well after that i was kinda drunk and had to piss. so did mel p so we went to rape alley right beside sev and fucking piss right beside eachother and i thought it was so romantic just pisses beside sev. it was so nice. lol. anyways........

we took the bus back down to the west end for some reason, me melissa kevin and R BELL. i was kinda drunk, ryan was really drunk so we had this cigarette that we were really in need of so on the bus we just light it up and start smoking. haha so heat, so retarded thing to do. the bus driver gets so fucking pissed and tells us to leave but we didn't get off so he just kept driving. i thought that was rad, rebel rebel. lol i liked it. anyways. get to the west end, walk to the curtural center and get picked up. that was so smooth. we were like 'yeah the punk rock show was so good and the thrid band was fucking awesome and i got like this bruise from the mosh pit.' haha we're just pissed. and if your pissed, you can't act normal. theres no way. so i think we made a fool to melissas dad.

OH MAN MISFITS ARE THE BEST BAND OF ALL TIME.

so we just drop off the boys and i go over to melissa place for a sleep. that was so rad, i love melissa to death. if i ever love anyone more than her i'll be really surprised cuz i doubt it's posiable. lol. so we chill in her room and that's always the coolest. we drink some more and stay up to 5 am drinking and getting so fucking juiced. just talking to eachother and being retarded. we like beat eachother up hardcore we were punching eachother so hardcore it was rough. like what the f.

hahahaha so we PASS out hard. but melissa had to fucking work at 11 this morning so it's like....urgh, i just got out of bed from her place honestly. i got out of bed first thing i did was like put on my jacket and left. lol, rrrrough :) so now i'm at home chiling.

beth is coming over RIGHT fucking now. jsut callled and she'll be waking in the door in like a fuckign second so i better bounce. long fucking entrie eh? i hope you could read it all...i doubt you guys even have the time. but whatever. wasn't even that good of a night i don't know why i went on so much. i guess i'm just in that writting mood. hehe

oh hhillary that picture of the 3 of us form that night in september is down. came out good we look so happy. lol. we were right fucking ripped though that was awesome.

PEACE
LOVE
EMPATHY

marry christmas you guys. hope you party hard over this holiday :)

-sarah

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why. are you. so FUCKING interesting?!??!!? [19 Dec 2037|04:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

alllright. this break shit, it's going DOWN now baby. hellls yeah. my week has ended. longest week of my life fuck. haha, honest it was hellishly long. today was nice though, pretty slack even though all my final projects were due today and i didn't hand any of them in. ha, didn't even start 'em up. didn't stress, didn't give a fuck. hahaha. that. is. radcore. got fucking ripped with TY, blazed before lunch, then went to his house, and then came back for gym, witch was a fucking test, one that i no doubt failed. then hooked up with TY and smoked a couple bowls and then went in for geo and did that shit...haha. yeah. good day, all around. coming home now gonna have the place to myself gonna invite some homies down. yesterday i had the house to myself, and that was so rad. it was heat, but rad. TY came over to getting right fucking high and have some sex. so i went out to meet him, smoked so much. went inside to "chill". went back out, smoked some more. then i called up melissa right after i got inside and i was like tlaking to her forever like all evening but it was so good man. i love her. oh yes, eairlier i was chilling with this hottie who is just TOO cool. hes just fucking cool. lol, anyways, he blazed me:) favorite ramones song : i'm agaisnt it. use to be my favorite song when i was younger. that was awesome. lol.

today in gym class i was playing banmontion kinda fucked and they were playing bob marley really loud and it was so mellow and positive i'm like 'yeahhh thats awesome' and i felt like sleeping and i was putting no effort into playing. it was fucking rad. i love bob marely.

a bunch of my friends are coming over tonight and everyone is welcome. i would really like some new people to come over. about 7 or 8 of my buddies are coming so far. it's going to be really awesome. we'll have like a QUARTER (that's a lot) and a my buddie chris is bringing his 2 foot glass bong....*ooooo, ahhh* it's gonna be a hell of a good night. trrrue that. ye. ye. but anyways, if your down for just some good old chilling, come on down. :)

but i'm bounce so remeber to love, keep the peace. stop the hate.
-sarah

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